Healing Is Possible
Discovering your spouse’s pornography use can shatter your world. The pain is real — but so is the hope of healing.
Betrayal Trauma is Real
Realizing that your spouse has been viewing pornography or engaging in other unwanted sexual behaviours can be physically, emotionally, and mentally overwhelming. Its effects are often consistent with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms. Betrayal trauma is the most piercing kind of emotional pain that humans can experience. Many betrayed spouses are left feeling rejected, abandoned, devastated, humiliated, shame, jealous, angry, lonely, isolated, hurt, and betrayed.
You Are Not Alone
Because of the silence around this issue, you may feel isolated and alone. You may wonder if there is any hope – or if your relationship is even worth fighting for. Be assured – many men & women have gone through what you are experiencing – and they have found that hope and healing are possible. Feeling seen and being understood by someone who gets it is one of the first steps towards healing.
What Can I Do Now?
Educate Yourself
When you discover that your spouse—the person you trusted most—has betrayed you, everything can feel confusing and overwhelming. At times, it might even seem like you’re losing your grip on reality. That’s why it’s so important to have resources that help you understand the truth about your situation. Gaining knowledge and support can bring clarity, restore confidence, and empower you to move forward in your healing journey. Click here for FREE Ebook from Pure Desire – 7 Keys to Understanding Betrayal Trauma.
Practice Self-Care
Self-Care is a significant part of the healing process. In the stress and turmoil of betrayal, it is important to attend to your physical, emotional, and mental health. Getting enough sleep, eating properly, exercise, connecting with God and others, and practicing gratitude are keys was to help you navigate through the crisis. Also, setting healthy boundaries can be empowering and give you a sense of healthy control in your life. Moving forward takes time and intention.
Get Support
Having the support of other women who have also experienced betrayal is both validating and reassuring. It can be extremely scary to share this vulnerable part of your life, but having a safe place to process your feelings and work through your betrayal trauma is critical to your healing. We encourage you to consider joining a support group, pursuing counselling, or reaching out to a safe and trusted friend. Feel free to connect with us. We’re here to listen and help however we can.
What’s Your Next Step?
Groups are a safe place to begin following the roadmap to healing and restoration. Contact us today to get started.
Groups
Our groups use Pure Desire Ministries’ Betrayal And Beyond for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. These are two-hour, weekly, closed-group meetings with 4-7 others on the same journey of healing. Groups run for about 8 months and help you understand the role of trauma, establish healthy boundaries, explore the depth of forgiveness, and learn to live in restoration. Your spouse may want to check out our Addiction Recovery Groups to help them find sobriety and freedom.
We also know that many men have experienced betrayal. While we don’t currently offer groups for men who have been betrayed, we would encourage men to sign up for Pure Desire’s online Hope for Men Group or contact us for support.
Sexual Integrity 101
Pure Desire Ministries’ Sexual Integrity 101 is a great overview and introduction to the process of healing and recovery for both the struggler and the spouse – and it’s great for anyone who wants to help make their home, church, or community a safe place of healing. We can facilitate this video series for groups of all sizes – one-on-one, in small groups, or your entire congregation!